Truth

   What gives a man a right to hit a woman? I mean if she's threatening your life with a gun, or about to stab you, make your run. If she's up close and you see an opening then okay, try and restrain her. Self defense. BUT in a circumstance where you are just pissed off and the only thing to help you vent is to lay your hands on your lady, then shame on you. You are 100 times stronger than she is by far, and even if your tired your body naturally taps into it's reserve and you're still stronger than her by very much. 


    This is a sore topic for me. The victim of domestic violence myself, I know the pain, physically and emotionally. I used to give advice to girls/woman about ways to get get out of relationships like that, or to avoid one completely, and I never understood why they would never leave and say enough is enough. I didn't know until I found myself in the same situation. It's not love you feel. It's infatuation. Infatuation that your abuser has instilled in you without your knowledge. He'll beat on you, and make you feel like you'll have no one to go to if you leave. You think to yourself "I love him, we can make this work." True, in some situations you can get your lover help and things can get better. But those are very rare occasions and they don't happen as much as they should. You ever heard the saying "Once a man hits you, he'll keeping hitting you" ? It's very true. Once a man has lain his hands on you, and you forgive him for it, a thought occurs in his brain. "Well, if she forgave me this time, she'll forgive me again." I made the mistake of not putting my foot down when it happened. And sadly it continued. 


     When I made my final stand, I told my abuser the truth. "No other woman would put up with the things that I have. But I'm done. You've lost me. I may not have anyone when I leave you, but it's way better than being with you." Even though my voice shook, my body trembled and my abuser stood a few feet from me, I spoke loudly and confidently. Honestly, I could have died. But I thought to myself, what kind of life am I living if I allow a man to beat on me, bringing me closer to death with each beating? I'd rather not be living at all. Surprisingly he did nothing and I left. 


After ward, I found the man I wanted to be with, I married him, and now I'm the happiest woman alive. 


     I guess what I'm trying to say to both parties (both abuser and victim) is: Know when enough is enough. If you're beating on someone who cannot physically defend themselves than what kind of person are you? If you get so angry that you need to beat it out on someone, then get help. Walk away before you end up in jail. And to the victims, I'm not telling you to walk away. I'm not judging you because I know what you feel. You love them and you think they're going to get better. But there are signs that they won't. I'm telling you this now, if a man threatens to kill you while he's upset, believe every word of it. Its just as simple as punching you in your liver, or your throat, or choking you. Believe him. 


You want to get him help? Give him space, refer him to counselors  or family members. But let him know, that if he truly loves you, he wouldn't be hurting you physically and if doesn't change, then you WILL leave and never look back. 




I did it and so can you. Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes. 


On a side note: David and I have been together for 3 years now, and we just recently completed our one year anniversary of marriage. I have never been more happy in my life. My husband is the best friend i could ever ask for and I couldn't imagine life without him. We had many losses in our life, including our son, but we've always managed to pull through. I love you David. From the bottom of my heart.
KylieStrotic